Passion

I'm amazed that I'm here again, especially since it's almost midnight and I have to work at 7 tomorrow morning.

I've been thinking a lot about the question, "what's your passion?"  I never really know how to answer that.  What exactly is a passion - is it something you're good at, something you enjoy doing, something you would do all day every day if you had the chance?

I'd say I'm good at my job - mostly because I'm organized and detail-oriented meaning I think ahead about every possible angle and plan accordingly.  This drives my husband nuts!  But I wouldn't say I'm passionate about my job - is it something I would do if I didn't get paid to do it, probably not.

So what do I enjoy?  I enjoy lazy weekends, winding down after a long week and just relaxing.  No decisions to be made, no plans to make.  I enjoy reading magazines, watching Friends, listening to music, and so on.  But am I passionate about any of these things?  It doesn't seem like it, they don't have enough value to receive such a strong emotion as passion.

Then there is the age-old question of, "what would you do if you could do anything in the world?"  To be honest, I don't know, but I have some ideas.  I think I would love to teach, not high school - only college or another form of adult education.  I would love to teach about anatomy, it's my favorite subject.  Especially when you put it together with nutrition and discussing all the ways the food we eat negatively effects our bodies, it's astonishing!  I also love to talk about leadership and would love to work with students to teach them how to be effective leaders in the world.  And not in a "how to win your way to the top" method but in a "grow up and take responsibility for your own mess" method. 

What else?  I have always been intrigued by dogs.  Not in a weird way, I know they're not humans, but they really are amazing!  They can do so many things, from hunting to finding a person buried 10 feet under the snow to detecting seizures.  I have thought many times about doing something in line with animal work - being a vet, starting a pet sitting business, training dogs, etc.

And of course there is the desire in me to stay at home with my kids and spend my "spare time" making crafts and other handmade goodies.  It would be so great if we were able to be mildly self-sufficient, making our own breads, cheeses, growing vegetables, etc. That's right, I'm actually a farm girl at heart. 

After all that I'm still left with the question of what am I passionate about?  I went ahead and looked up the word - it means a strong or compelling emotion towards something.

That doesn't help...

So let me pose a new question, why do we spend so much time searching for what we're passionate about?  For me, I want to enjoy every day of my life and not just shuffle my way through mundane activities.  It makes sense to me that if I discover my passion and spend my days doing that thing, I will better enjoy life.  Maybe I need to stop searching for this passion I think is out there and just make the choice to enjoy life!

Ouch...

It does make sense that a lot of the reason I see my daily task list as ordinary and boring is because I am continuously thinking about what I would rather be doing.  Man, I hate being challenged.  I mean I love that God continues to work in me each day, but it's so disappointing to realize these struggles could so easily be taken care of if I just made the choice to deal with them.

So there it is - my new challenge is to be passionate about LIFE!  To embrace each activity that comes my way as exactly what the Lord has for me this day and enjoy it.  So much easier said than done, I know.  I can give it my best though.

Good night!