Working at Home...Revised

Awhile ago (like back in March) I posted about all the glories of working at home.  Things like a flexible schedule, casual dress code, ability to go to the store in the morning all made the list.  And those aspects are certainly fabulous but now I am starting to think more about who I am and how I function, does this type of lifestyle produce the best in me?

I think the answer is no...plain and simple.  I love the extra time I have but I've also found myself more stressed out, frustrated, and exhausted.

Here is why I think this has happened.

My personality type needs structure, I need to know exactly what is expected of me, what needs to be done, and when I need to do it.  I work well serving other people because they can tell me what they want from me and there are very few big decisions I have to make on my own.

I am a hard worker, I've always prided myself on being efficient and productive in my work (not necessarily true at home though).  I've worked since I was 11 and my parents passed down high expectations for my work ethic.  Not trying to toot my own horn but almost every boss I have ever had has absolutely loved me.  This is mostly because I do what I'm told, when I'm told to have it done, and I show up to work on time.  Pretty simple, but hard for a lot of people to grasp.

Now I'm in this self-management, self-evaluate, self-motivate situation and it's not going so well.  I just can't seem to get into a consistent routine which in turn means I'm not using my time well.  This makes me feel like poo.  Really.

So while I have more free time, I have been finding myself feeling blue during that time because I'm not sure what exactly I should be doing.  And what's worse is many times I do know what I should be doing but cannot bring myself to get them done.  I mean, when I have no deadline and no one waiting on me, why not wait until tomorrow, right?  Ugh, I hate that attitude.

What to do now?  I really don't know.  The luxuries of working at home have been grand, but it's probably not worth it if I end every day feeling like a failure and just wanting to crawl back into bed (as if tomorrow will be any different).  Is 8-5 calling my name?  When will I go to the store?!

8-5 can also be great, if your personality is similar to mine.  I used to go to work at the same time everyday (therefore I had a consistent morning routine and truly enjoyed that time), sit down with my list so I knew exactly what needed to be accomplished that day, then go home at the end of the day and forget all about work until the next morning.  I was able to appreciate my time in the evenings and on the weekends because I knew I had gotten all of my work done and had nothing to worry about.

Bummer...

I guess you live and learn, find out more about who God made you to be, then embrace it.

Time to embrace.